


Death Do Us Part

by blurri_faice



Category: No Fandom, Original Work
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Fourth Wall, Meta, Metafiction, Original Fiction, Original Universe, POV Original Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-11-17 23:13:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18108461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blurri_faice/pseuds/blurri_faice
Summary: First person thing not to be taken seriously about becoming the mortal version of Death.Honestly I have no idea how to sell you this,enjoy yourself OK!





	Death Do Us Part

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first 'work'. I wrote this at 12-1am. 
> 
> If people like it I'll keep working on this and eventually finish the story.
> 
> Please give me constructive criticism to improve, this is my first time writing & posting.
> 
> My name's Blurri_faice and I care what you think!

Crash, bang, whack and other boring adjectives to describe this truly terrible scene…

And I was having such a good day too then this happened.

My dumb self laying there… On the floor… AFTER THAT STUPID CAR RAN A RED. OK time to calm down. I’m calm. It’s cool.

God and he’s playing that terrible song, whilst I’m laying there and paramedics trying to revive me. Could this REALLY get any worse?

Oh wait it can.

My name is… 

You don’t really care do you?

Yeah, you. I’m calling you out on this, you don’t care do you? 

I mean really, what are you doing here? Surely there’s something better to read!

Well anyway my name is Chester Ronald Williamson Johnson the 12th, Lord of Chelsea, 1st Earl of Essex, 12th Viscount of Barking.

Nah I’m kidding, my name’s fucking Dan. Could you believe it if it was that? That’d be so cool. I mean-... Wait wasn’t I supposed to be doing something. Oh. Right right right.

So there I am, looking good I must say, shame that car came out of nowhere. All these people staring. Kind of making me self conscious. Thankfully someone thought to call an ambulance. God this is going to destroy my parents when they find out. 

So. Guess you’ll wanna know how I got here. I woke up, got out of bed- Nah you don’t need to know that bit, we’ll skip ahead. So, bare with me here. I was on my way to class, like every other day, being late of course since class started oh about an hour ago. People are probably wondering where I am by now. I was crossing the road, THE TRAFFIC LIGHT WAS RED & THE CROSSING LIGHT WAS GREEN I’D LIKE TO REAFFIRM, then I got hit by some prick of a driver in of course a BMW. It’s like they live up their stereotype of all being terrible drivers.

My life was slipping away, I died of course if you didn’t figure it out already. Now I really am going to be extremely late to class. I guess this was what you could say. It? I’m kind of disappointed, no big explosions, heroics or selfless acts like in the movies. Just instant darkness.  
YES! Finally my ticket it out of this hell! No more worries, no more stress, no more problems at all! This was the best gift ever!

Or so I thought. It was good while it lasted I guess.

I jumped awake, screaming bloody murder as I sat up “AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Not gonna lie I was confused. I woke up, in my bed, in my room. Strange right? It was as if nothing had happened. I looked down at myself, no broken bones, no bleeding external or internal, nothing. My assumption was right, NOTHING HAD HAPPENED. I was completely okay. 

I was panting and sweating heavily, that was a really bad nightmare. I looked around at my small box bedroom, from right to left. Just to make sure I haven't gone completely off my rocker of course, you know, make sure everything is in check.

“So, we’ve been thinking,” a voice said in an ardent tone as a person turned from my desk in my chair to face me, the chair making a creaking sound as it swiveled around. The person was wearing a rather baggy hoodie, the hood itself pulled fully over to the point the person’s face had been shrouded in darkness and rather normal black jeans & trainers.

“What just happened? I died! I looked down at myself. What is this? Is this heaven? Hell? Some derivation of?” My mind was racing, I couldn’t believe it. I died but now I’m alive? Shouldn’t I be UN-ALIVE? That’s the whole fucking purpose of dying!

I was rambling at this point, I don’t really know what I was talking about, all that shock. 

“You did die, genius.” A new voice said from right next to him.

Another person appeared, this time in a small eruption of fire, as they seemed to be ‘pop’ into existence, sitting themselves partially on top of my nightstand. They were in a truly wonderful all-black suit, must have been pretty expensive it didn’t look cheap that’s for sure, in gleaming black shoes. This one, however, didn’t have their face concealed. They had a trimmed beard, slicked back black hair, tanned skin AND DROP DEAD GORGEOUS HOLY SH-. 

“If I died how am I here?!” 

Again, I was rather confused so bare with me here.

“I was going to explain that, if you hadn’t rudely interrupted.” The hooded person said, their tone making them sound rather hecked off, but composed enough not to start shouting at me I guess.

“Oh. Well.” 

I had composed myself, but still not quite sure what on earth was happening.

“We were thinking. We need help with something,” the hooded person continued to speak, the suited one picking up a comic book from the nightstand. An Amazing Spider-Man issue #1 I might add.

“Whose we? And what the hell do you think you’re doing that’s a first issue!” I cut off that hooded guy again, he must be getting really annoyed by now oops. The suited man was smiling to himself.

“I’m the Devil, and I think what I’m doing. Is reading your comic book.” The suited man revealed himself as the devil, in a rather sarcastic and condescending tone, barely even glancing up from the comic book.

“And I’m ‘Death’.” The hooded person said, deadpan. 

“So if you’re Death & the Devil, shouldn’t you both be you know. Disgusting, evil, twisted. Ugly looking?” I’ve come to realise, I was being a smartarse and sarcastic I guess. Boy was that a mistake.

“WILL YOU LET ME FINISH!” Death got up from the chair, changing into the cloaked figure with scythe and all everyone knows he’s depicted as.

“Sorry sorry sorry.” I profusely apologised as I retreated back further into the sheets, the Devil laughing to himself.

“Now. AS I WAS SAYING. We,” Death placed heavy emphasis on the WE, “need help in claiming more souls. There has been a decline in deaths and such, what with the advancements in mortal technology.” Death by this time had returned to his hooded person form and sat back down in the chair.

“That means he’s out of a job and I don’t get to fulfill my pacts. Which is just terrible!” The Devil sounding awfully dramatic, finally putting down the comic.

I sat there puzzled for a moment, thinking to myself before speaking up.

“How does this involve me?” I almost spoke in a whisper.

What on earth was I getting myself into? Well, more like getting dragged into. Reluctantly. Maybe they’re gonna steal my soul! OH NO!

If only it was that simple, it would have been a lot easier.

“We cannot involve ourselves in the mortal realm, thus we need a mortal to make certain events happen in order for us to claim the mortals souls. We chose you to do this for us.”

“So I have to kill people & make sure they die?” I sounded way too enthusiastic about this, not gonna lie to you.

“Essentially yes.” Death replied

“Cool, like an assassin.” Again, way too overly enthusiastic. Stupid past me.

“No. You’re our bitch that’s what you are.” The Devil affirmed that I am indeed the higher powers’ puppet. Or in this case. ‘Bitch’.

“Do I get a cool title?” 

“No.” They both answered sternly

“Do I at least get powers to accomplish this task.”

“Yes.” The Devil answered, his tone shifted from stern to annoyed.

“Great!”

I threw off my sheets and stood up. Stood there waiting in my Calvin’s. Maybe I should start wearing pajamas, now that I think about it.

“Well?” I asked, waiting to be given all this almighty power to wreak havoc on the world.

The Devil sighed as he got up from the nightstand and sluggishly walked over. He reached out with his right hand, a small fire starting in his palm. He placed his fiery hand on my shoulder.

“There done.” He said as he took his hand off and placed both of his hands in his pockets.

I shut my eyes for a moment, hoping something would happen. But nothing did, no feeling, tingling or anything. Just a real bad need to pee.

“I don’t feel anything did it work?” I opened my eyes and looked around before locking eyes with the Devil.

“Yeah it worked.” The Devil replied with another sigh, I think he was quite fed up at this point.

“Sweet… What powers do I have?” I asked keenly. I really wanted to be the real life version of Doctor Doom. Boy that would be amazing!

“I don’t know. Figure it out yourself, we don’t really have a tutorial or handbook for this sort of thing.” He was being really passive aggressive and patronising.

I looked down at my hands in amazement. The Devil disappearing in a small fire, much the like he arrived in.

“We’ll be visiting again.” Death spoke up, after being deathly silent for so long. He himself then disappeared in a cloud of black smoke.

I was still looking at my hands, wondering what kind of awesome powers I have. Amazed was an understatement as to what I was feeling. What with being not dead and given all this immense power from the Devil & Death.

But then suddenly.

Suddenly something did happen.

“I NEED TO PEE!” I shouted as I opened my beedom door. Sprinting across the short corridor to the bathroom. Opening the door and you know relieving myself. I’m not gonna describe that, who do you think I am? George R. R. Martin?

Yeah, this is going to be real fun I guess.


End file.
